I don't know about you, but I have plenty of times when I just can't see God. I can’t hear or perceive Him. I feel like I am in a fog. Life feels overwhelming God seems so distant. Or worse I wonder if He really desires to be seen...if He wants to hear my cry. Is he unmoved...unaware?
I just get so weary.
I love God and yes I try to trust Him. Yet there are still so many times I am literally God-blind. God-deaf. Unable to perceive His presence. If I am honest, trusting in the dark is such hard work.
This week has been one of those weeks for me. A very dear long time friend will bury her son tomorrow. Her 23 year old healthy beautiful loving son.
Did you read that? Feel that?
The most severe test a mother could ever face. This woman has prayed and loved her children as her own life. She has sacrificed and trusted God. Her world has stopped dead in its tracks. Her life will never be the same.
The grief cloud was ominous and demanding as we entered her home Sunday. I kept saying Merciful Father…bring your mercy…. your peace. Let her see YOU….
As I was leaving her room after hours of embracing her profound pain I glanced up and saw it.
I had to look twice. Yet I kept on moving towards the mirror.
I saw Him.
Months earlier she wrote in large marker print on her bathroom mirror...
Your children are His and not the devil’s and you can make a case for them before the throne of God. We have the power and authority satan does not. God provides for His children and we are His children. For I have no greater joy than to know my children are walking in truth. God knows the end of this story and His children win.
Amidst the dark lingering fog of fear, doubt, pain and not knowing...I saw. I saw Him. I saw His promise. I saw that He had given her a gift long before she knew how desperately she would need it. Both she and her son had won. We win…because we are His.
NOTHING can take us out of His hand...our names are written on His palm...Nothing can separate us from His love.
When circumstances cloud the reality of His ongoing work and passionate love for you know that He sees you. Though the battle rages on, the war so intense and the dark fog of life circumstances try to derail you…nothing escapes His watchful eye.
Wherever you find yourself today my friend, whatever you carry He sees you and if you are His…you win.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
(Isaiah 40:28-31)
Miss Tammy, this is SO powerful. I too, prayed the sweet peace of Jesus over that family.
I'm believing God, that one day soon, both of my children will be covered by her statement on the mirror, "...For I have no greater joy than to know my children are walking in truth..."
Posted by: Kathy Van Doorn | February 22, 2011 at 01:38 PM
Kathy thank you so much for your comment...isn't it the truth? God sees...He knows...what hope we have...love you honey
Posted by: Tammy | February 22, 2011 at 03:00 PM
Tam...I so appreciated what you had to say. It spoke to me tonight. You and Jer are a gift to Mona and her family. I love you and am praying for you.
Posted by: Twyla Beyers | February 22, 2011 at 08:24 PM
beautiful. What a wonderful prayer and message.
Posted by: Shawn Boreta | February 23, 2011 at 03:29 PM
This is the Tammy I knew so many years ago(30 this year to be exact!), when I first "knew". Preaching God in full color. Thank you for being faithful Tammy and loving our good God. I will pray for this mommy; to keep winning and seeing God's incredible goodness. Isn't it amazing Isaiah never grows old. Love you always! Karen
Posted by: Karen Lenz | February 23, 2011 at 04:41 PM
Karen!!!! Oh my goodness...really it has been 30 years ago that we waited tables at Hark To Bounty!
I am so thankful God brought you into my life...what a gift you have become to the kingdom...really...I am praying for you my friend...I am so thankful we have forever to catch up...xxoo
Posted by: tammy | February 23, 2011 at 08:55 PM
This is beautiful, Tammy. Thank you for being so transparent. My best friend has a friend of 24 yrs that lost her husband, 48 yrs old, to a car accident the day after your friend's son was killed. I sent this to her in hope to encourage her and her friend. Love that you're blogging frequently now!! Love your heart, sweet friend.
Pam
Posted by: Pam Boyd | March 01, 2011 at 06:55 PM
Oh thank you Pam...such sorrow for your dear friend...it is a life long journey...xxoo
Posted by: Tammy | March 01, 2011 at 09:49 PM